I111T IS 1! W0RLD RE3NOUN SM4RT PE333RSON 4ND ART TIST, 5T0R3Y3D P3ZZI4 10! O00H0H0H0H I AM S000 GL4D TO M3AT Y0U! W0ULD YOO0U0U00U LIK3 TO H3AR A LITTL3 ST0R3333Y 0F MY L4TE5T PR3Y?

R333AAAD!!!!!

“I decided I’d explore an old mineshaft I used to call home, it was cold, wet and silent. It looked so much different since I’d last seen it many years ago. But strangely, despite never residing here for such time, everything still looked so… lived-in? The silence was broken by footsteps, but not of my own. I felt a chill up my spine, the air felt thin and I began to break a sweat. I heard laughing coming from a long part of the mine, followed by two blue lights glistening in the darkness. It got closer, and uttered the phrase; “…Pizza time!”

-Storeyed

W4AAA4N4NN4NT M0000R3333 ST0R1ES??? H3R Y'OUUIO GO000'!

"I-I-I don't know if I'll actually be able to recover. WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING, WHY DID IT LOOK LIKE TAQUE'S IDIOT FRIEND,WHY IS IT UGLIER THAN HIM AND WHY IN THE ACTUAL FUCK DOES HE EXIST. Here's where this stupid fucking story starts. I was just playing UNO with Lapsical, the usual activity to do as "pals", he's, somehow, quite bad at it, and after he lost, he threw the fucking table away and bolzed out of the house. Normal, right? Then, I hear knocking coming from the door, I go open, and "Storeyed" is there, I've never seen him in person but he looked ugly as fuck. He was outside my door, cackling and chittering. But, out of nowhere, he started laughing and chanting the phrase "PIZZA TIME." over and over, and almost attacked me with his ink spear. I've never felt so much fear, and never felt so close to death before. Then, it stabbed me in the hand, sucked out some of my blood, and ran away. This is all I could remember after I passed out. I don't know if I'll be able to sleep this month, but I'll take my revenge."

-FuQue

HEEEEERRE3E3E3RS3FS4E5G A SE1UELLL T000 TH4T ST0RYYYYY!!! ENJ0YYIIYIYIYYY011Y!!

“FuQue and I went into that old mineshaft Storeyed told us about, something about a “fake him”. We thought it was total bullshit, but I’ll admit, I felt chills go up my spine when FuQue stopped in his tracks and looked behind us. I’ve never seen him so scared, hell, never seen him scared to begin with. A distorted voiced laughed far in the distance, uttering the phrase “Pizza time…”. FuQue bolted the other direction, I followed suit. This is the only time I’ll ever show such fear, what that thing was we’ll never know. I’m sure as fuck not going back there, maybe I can convince some idiot to go down there himself.”

-Lapsical

So0000ooo0????? HO00OWWW WAAAAA44555S THAAT? DEED Y0U EEE33EEN33N3NJ0000Y TH3 R3AD? 1F S00, 1M AM S0000 GL4D!

“.MA I OHW WONK T’NOD I .SGNIDNUORRUS YM MORF FLESYM EPAHS I .WONK I LLA ERA SENIM EHT .TRUH YEHT ,SHTWORG ESEHT .SERO EHT S’TI ,TOGROF I .YAWA NUR SYAWLA YEHT ,SDNEIRF YM .DLUOM SAH AZZIP EHT”