It goes without saying, but this year has been incredibly rough for me, mentally and emotionally. It's like 2024 never even left.
By "2024 never left" I mean that I've made a huge amount of mistakes that year that have led me to the following happening:
All of the elements listed remained the same in 2025, albeit not on a huger scale compared to 2024, but the fact those things BARELY even changed is incredibly saddening to me, and I really wish I knew how these mistakes would've affected my friends sooner and in hopes I could've fixed them, but it's way too late to do so. While I never intended for these things to happen, there is nothing else I can do rather than move on, reflect on them and become a better person.
While I don't remember the start of 2025 much, I was starting to move on from a situation I and other friends were involved in, and seemingly getting better. The way things were going made me think this year wouldn't be as atrocious as I had thought.
This, unfortunately, was not the case.
In May, a close online friend and I had the displeasure of checking a chat in our personal GC where another "close friend" / ex-friend of ours had left the GC to better themselves while leaving a confession of what had happened to them. We were distraught, but we had tried to help, albeit making mistakes in the way but a few days after they had rightfully taken their stance and were no longer in our friends list and friend groups going forward.
From then on, thats when I felt 2025 was going to get worse from there, which I suppose I was on the money about? Summer felt really really empty, despite entering more friend groups throughout summer break, something felt missing. Only throughout August I actually felt better but September until December had other plans.
I'll spare you the details, but someway somehow these 3 months of school were slightly worse compared to 2024. Yeah.
I don't really like sharing personal stuff, especially in this way but I hope this does clear up fully / a good amount of doubts as to why I was barely motivated enough to draw, do stuff for this website and just don't do what I wished to do this year.
With all of that being said, I will still be hopeful for 2026, and I will make sure to become a better person and try to avoid committing the same mistakes like the previous 2 years.
I'd also like to thank my friends for being around me whenever I needed it despite these hardships, I wish them and also you all a...